Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Here We Go...

For some time now I've thought of keeping a diary. There is so much that, as a mother, I want to be able to remember some day. I looked for a notebook the other day, but figured that I'd do better with something on the computer for two reasons. One, being that I can type faster than I can write, and the second reason is that I'm on here anyways. Might as well take a few minutes to close out the day or just stop from my daily routine to post some thoughts.
Perhaps I'll be the only one to ever read this. Maybe it'll just be a way to vent frustrations, or relive a funny moment from the day. Either way, I've made the goal to keep a diary so here goes.
As a mother I experience so many things. I wish I could say that no one ever told me that being a mother was this hard, or this much work, or this overwhelming. But the truth is that people tell you that stuff all the time. People tell you all of it but you just don't listen. I guess for me I figured that I would be able to handle it different or even better than the advise giver. Silly, silly me!
As a single mother things have gotten even trickier. There's no longer the relief of a husband at the end of a day, or at the beginning before he leaves for work. There's no longer weekends of help or family time. There is no running to the store, out with a friend, going to the gym time. There IS now more responsibility, less money, and not enough hours in a day to make it all work. Alone time is an urban myth, and adult conversations are like gold. But no matter how hard things get, there are always moments where my beautiful children make me laugh whole heartedly, cry tears of joy, and beam with emense pride. There isn't a moment of pain, a feeling of being over whelmed, or frustrated, or even angry that could make me trade any of it in for a different life. I love my kids, I love being their mother and I am so blessed every day in my life. I hope that in keeping this blog it will help me, and perhaps others too.

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