I'm sitting down and writing tonight without a specific topic in mind. I have a mind full of thoughts and I guess I'm hoping to give the wheels in there a little relief. Today was sunday and for anyone who has taken three small children to church knows what I mean when I say "I survived"! They are actually getting better, though. They still need more work on using their quiet voices, but I'll keep working on it. It felt so nice to be there. We've had almost a whole month off. We spent the last two sundays traveling back from Idaho Falls, and the sunday prior to that was stake conference... only we didn't know about it, so we showed up to an empty parking lot. I love that all the kids go to classes now too. It makes it that much easier to try to converse with adults, and to try to feel the spirit. Gabe will be in primary in January, I can't believe he's that big. People always tell you they grow up sooo fast. I think, when you're cleaning up the entire bottle of chicken seasoning from off the living room rug, or you have a little boy screaming from the bathroom for you to wipe him, or every 3 seconds someone is telling you they got hit... it doesn't seem fast enough, but then one day you have kids big enough to make you promises, offer to help vacuum, and play games with you. It really does happen so fast.
On another note, I have been really struggling with a new battle in my life that I know I have to fight and conquer. I hate being alone (kids not counted). I miss begininng and ending the day with someone I love. I know it will happen again, but for now, its difficult for me to reflect inward as I need to. I have so much I need to work on as a person. This is such a great opportunity to do it. I just hope I'm up to the challenge. Sometimes it can seem like the task is too daunting. I'd much rather give that attention to someone else. hee hee. I'm gonna make some goals and hopefully by writing them down I can hold myself to them.
GOAL #1 I want to enroll in school by next summer. (I'd do it sooner, but I have to make sure I have some tax stuff is in order so I can get grants)
GOAL #2 I want to learn to budget my money better.
GOAL #3 I want to find a couple hobbies that entertain my time outside of the kids.
GOAL #4 I want to get my kids medical and dental things taken care of. That means all caught up on shots, teeth checks, all of it.
GOAL #5 I want to love myself like I love others!!!
GOAL #6 I want to be able to attend the temple monthly at least, again.
I guess thats a good place to start. I'm sure there are more, but at least that gives me some things to shoot for. Now, onward and upward!!!
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